so its that time of my life again where something new is in the waters and i dont know what but i strangely do? if that makes sense!!
life is changing and it started with a song i wrote about moving on. i wrote it as my way of saying i wont stay stuck anymore. id felt trapped in a sticky web, a mess really, of confusion, doubts, bitterness and fear. lots of fear. but i wanted to move on and didnt know how to do something physical to say 'enough is enough, its time for change'. i think it was my way of saying yes to my heart's healing. and yes to whatever was to come.
and its here....change......new directions.....new horizons.
goodbye to the old dreams and hopes that were never fulfilled.
and time for the current dreams and hopes to be reshaped into something new....and something far more beautiful than i can anticipate.
its weird how change starts. like a little nut or seed so tiny inside that you could almost mistake it for fear or nothing at all. but as you look closer it starts to form a little bud or shoot each time you glance at it.
each time you indulge in what it could be saying, it grows a little more until you are here, where i am, wondering how it will look when it finally bursts into bloom.
change is coming and i am moving into it.
im scared, so very scared that i wont be happy, that life will make me someone i dont want to be. that i will have to give up the things i love, that love will make me unhappy. that i'll be lonely,lost, forgotten, abandoned. that my needs wont get met, that noone will listen to me, that i will be forced into avenues that make me more ill, that i wont be believed.
but i know i will be loved and seen by my God.
and that il have my fish.
change is looming closer each day and im ready to accept its offer to climb aboard.
And though it may bring the unexpected. the difficult. the awful. the ugly. the unwanted. each day will have beauties, little pockets of hope and love. and most of all the most healing medicine of laughter :)
so heres to the next step of adventure!!
join me?
:)
here is the link to the song.....
yes please xxxxxx
ReplyDelete